I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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