Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You ate ashes out of my bong
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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