there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
