There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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