No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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