Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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