Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
