Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
