i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize