would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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