are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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