sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
