he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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