Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
