I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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