Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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