Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
