So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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