"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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