I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
