I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize