I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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