I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
