It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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