And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Randomize