im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
