I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
