would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
