i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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