If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
