my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
