I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize