I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
