How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
