he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
this is an emotional support booty call
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
