Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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