your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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