Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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