what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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