i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
