Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Found the puke drawer
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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