apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
