NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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