There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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