ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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