Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
