Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize