is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Found your dick twin last night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
