Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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