the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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