Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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