hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
