I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize