your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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