I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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