finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My dick has a subreddit
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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