Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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