Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
