2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
