What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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