I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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